The Good Fight...

“… With a simultaneous flash of red light coupled with the sound of crunching teeth , the fall to the ground was welcomed . The abrupt collision with the dirt would give me the benefit of a second or two to figure out what just happened to me.Then came the taste… The unforgettable taste of blood - my own blood , and plenty of it seemingly… I had been sucker punched by a sucker , but I was on the way back up to return the favor … and then some…”

This is one of my most vivid memories. Although it is not a fond one , It’s one that has sculpted a certain part of me, my personality and for all practical purposes shaped my innate desire of confrontation.. To put it plainly I grew up fighting and I love a good fight , therefore - I am a fighter.

In some respects it has been a valuable gift … In my younger years , I was never bullied more than once by the same person due to my over eagerness to reciprocate the aggression shown to me ten fold , and so it gave me a confidence in myself that NO ONE could take from me.. NO ONE. In stressful or high pressure situations it provided me a cool mindedness and bulldog like tenacity because I KNEW ultimately I could handle whatever was hurled in my direction ,and I could beat it with a ear to ear smile on my face… and did - EVERY TIME. Even in my darkest days when addiction had its hold on me , once I decided to fight it - I fought it with ferocity and fervor that paralleled that of a Gladiator fighting for his life in the sand of the arena…after all , it basically was a fight for my life.

There always seemed to be a roaring lion living in me that just couldn’t be silenced… until I gave myself over to God . Even then however, the desire for confrontation continued. It seemed the roar of the lion had been tamed but not silenced. Over the next several years I took my new found faith and ever-growing knowledge of Gods word and set out on a journey to take that word to the lost and dying world that so desperately needed him like I did (and still do)…A few years later -enter Social Media.

With the new way of reaching masses of people via Facebook ,Tumbr , Twitter etc. My desire to take the words of life to people was magnified to a nearly unbearable intensity for those close to me , and the roaring lion of confrontation inside me had been revived and was back on the hunt with an insatiable hunger to prove the TRUTH and SEEK the LOST…no matter the cost.

But I am afraid the cost may have been greater than I hoped.

You see , because of my love for confrontation - I became a bully… By seeking out every debatable topic and controversy ,then beating people up with my faith. Proving that what they believed was wrong and what I believed was right… and in doing so pushing them further away from God than they ever were , and making myself EXACTLY what they think of ALL of us who have named the name above all names… and I was wrong …and I am sorry -truly.

As Christians , we talk a lot about “Fighting the Good fight”. By standing up for what we know to be the truth and doing our best to live according to his commands for us , but fighting that good fight is NOT about fighting at all..not with others anyway.In 1st Timothy 6 :11 it tells us “ But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith.” In the first part of the verse it says to “flee these things” - what things?…they are listed earlier in the chapter as controversy and for quarrels about words, which produce envy, dissension, slander, evil suspicions… Words that Paul used to describe to Timothy the False Teacher..Had I become a False Teacher?…yes I had - in a sense. Not in doctrine -but in spirit. ..

You can have all the truth in the world and be right as rain in WHAT you teach , but be as wrong as the day is is long in HOW you teach it.. Verse 14 of that chapter Paul tell Timothy also “to keep the commandment unstained and free from reproach until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ,”… and that my friends is NOT possible if you are beating people over the head with it.

SO - do I still believe the same things are wrong that I did before?- Absolutely..Do I still believe that the same things are right that I did before? Absolutely.. Are there still people who need to hear the Gospel of Christ ? Am I STILL seeking the lost?- YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!…so what’s changed?…. My heart has..

Fighting the Good Fight is about “preaching the word; being ready in season and out of season; reproving, rebuking, and exhorting, with COMPLETE PATIENCE and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.”(2 Timothy 4:2-4)… But NEVER … NEVER bullying ..This goes against everything that God is and it’s WRONG… My God is not a bully - so NEITHER SHOULD I BE..

There are many who make the claim and wear his name ,calling themselves Christians… We had better be acting like it.

The invitation to study the bible is still open… ;)

Read Romans 12:14-18

GO

A punch in the gut… That’s probably the best way to describe it. I read so many posts here and that is the overwhelming feeling that I’m left with from most of them - a winded and slightly sick feeling .. The kind that comes from a blindsided sucker punch that only a COWARD could deliver…

I believe the Bible word for word… I believe it says exactly what it says , NO EXCEPTIONS … and I do my best EVERYDAY to live those things out to the best of my ability and then at the end of the day get down on my FACE and my thank my creator that his grace can fill in the gaps that my faults create…

I believe…and it demands something from me.

In Mathew 28:18-20 it says “ And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. “GO” therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe ALL that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”… It doesn’t say “preacher go” - it simply says “GO“… So I GO... I go seeking “The Honest Hearts” who are seeking the truth..

But this is what I mostly find -

The “Angry Hearts” who would rather lash out with malcontent than accept an honest gesture…“The Antagonist” who believes that acting like an Atheist makes him cool and edgy when in truth he is afraid and alone… “The Atheist” who has read just enough Darwin to convince himself he is an expert , when in fact he knows that it takes more faith “NOT” to believe than “TO” believe because it will change everything if he gives in… All of which approach and attack me and my convictions with the combat ethics of a wild boar , but only after they finish blogging their “You must accept everything about me or your a hateful bigot blog”… but these aren’t even the worst.

The ones that really take my wind are the ones who are convinced that they are “Christians” - but in fact make hypocrites our of those of us who do earnestly seek God by making a mockery of his grace ..

..And I love all of them STILL - Because I BELIEVE HE LOVES ALL OF THEM STILL…

When Christ died , he did so for ALL - even those who spat in his face… Not so they could continue to do so - but so that someday ,something may be said or done that would change their heart… and the “Angry heart” may be silenced and the “Honest Heart “ may be heard…

But I cant convince anyone of anything - no one can. They must convince themselves..

And when they do , I will be here looking for them - because I “GO”…. because I Believe…. STILL.

The Invitation to Study the Bible is STILL open… ;)

Read Mathew 5:44 and Romans 12:14-21

December 12, 2001

Time is a perplexing thing. ..Created for us to use in our lives as a standard… It’s gauge to measure where we’ve been and how we did , as well as how we will do in where we are headed…We wake up every morning left with only the mental images of the days before,never realizing that in those moments our memories are being created right in front of us.. Time was given to us as a way of stamping these memories with a signature.. A signature much like the one in the title of this ..

Dates are the way that we signify the importance of a particular moment in time. The importance of these dates vary as much as they are many , although we do share plenty of mutually important dates as people. The reality is that each day has its own significance to us because each of us have our own lives and our own moments.. Our own time.. Our own signature.

I cant remember off the top of my head the date of the day I learned to ride a bike , or the day I dove off the diving board..I don’t remember my the date I learned to play an instrument. When I really think back , many of these great moments in my life - moments that sculpted me , and defined me - don’t have a date . Although they are as clear to me as yesterday - I don’t know the dates of these pivotal moments . Does that mean they have no importance?..Of course not. It means that I am defined by something MORE than these moments. Something MORE than things I have done. Something MORE than ME.

I remember clearly the date of the day I gave myself to my wife and became her husband.. and I remember clearly both of the dates of the day that I became a father ..I remember these days and dates because they required something of me. On these dates I was required to not only think of myself anymore , but to shift my focus and to the someone else s best interest’s above my own..to become Selfless.. But if the act of selflessness is the thing that qualifies a a time signature , then there is one date above all.

On December 11, 2001 I had been studying the bible with a man who is now a dear friend . He ,myself and my wife had been studying together for about a month. On this day I was in an “undone state”. I was undone because of my selfishness.. I had broken vows to my marriage..and I had broken vows as a father… My addictions had taken over and I was ,in fact - as broken as one could be…

I was a complete failure of a human being..

During our month long study I FOUGHT with ALL my might that there was no God and that this life was futile.. That there was no way possible that all of this had a meaning or that there was a bigger picture than we can see with our eyes..That IF there was a God there is no way that he loved his creation enough to DIE for it because there was NO WAY that I could be LOVED THAT MUCH …because after all I had done , I was completely unlovable..It seemed impossible.

So on December 11,2001 - I was still “undone”..

The next day I woke up with a different mind. I woke up thinking about the same thing I had the night before ..and the night before that and the night before that.. but for some reason on this day- It was different. I had been presented undeniable evidence and the desire to keep fighting it all of a sudden came to a halt.This desire to fight the truth was coming from a selfish place.. A place that had not served me well by that point in my life and was going to keep me right where I was. I HAD to let that part of me go.. So for the next several hours ,for the first time ever in MY life - I spoke to God.

I told him how tired I was , and that I was sorry for who I had become.. I told him that I was done with that life.. I wanted a new one.

Within an hour , I once more gave myself to something MORE than me.. I gave myself to God in Baptism and left that part of me that had hurt so many that I loved - including myself - dead in the water…On December 12,2001 - God put his OWN signature on me.. and he now calls me SON… because I am loved THAT MUCH…

The roaring lion of selfishness and suddenly grown quiet and the silence of a clear conscience was deafening.. In THAT moment I was no longer “Undone”..

This date IS my defining moment above all others…because in this moment a change began that continues still to this day . A change that has made every aspect of my life better , my relationships stronger and my responsibility greater…

You see I tell you all this , because I was told the truth and I listened …

It is my hope that if you haven’t listened to the truth , that you will… Because every passing moment is another opportunity to turn it all around..Today could just be the date that YOU remember above all others..

The invitation to study the bible is still open ;)

Read Ecclesiastes 3 and Hebrews 4:16

Sunburn..

…”Never tell a man that he is sunburned - he knows“…

I don’t know anyone over a certain age that hasn’t experienced the stinging afterglow of a day well spent in the sun. We sometimes don’t realize that its gift is upon us until its way past the time to do anything about it , but make no mistake - we are ALWAYS fully aware once it has set in and need NO reminding of it… The ever present burn and tingle just below the skin is a more than adequate reminder of our oversight or carelessness … But trust - Someone is going to inform you at least once more , and you’ll be forced yet again to bite your tongue..

Don’t misunderstand me - Sometimes people don’t know that they are getting burned ,like I said -we sometimes don’t realize its upon us and a kind word of warning could spare us unnecessary pain later.. But sadly most wont say anything because “they dont feel it’s their place”. These same people are usually the ones after the fact who have NO problem reciting the already painfully obvious -“uh , you have a sunburn!”…

Yup - thank you , where were you when I needed you ?..

My point is this - Most of us are PAINFULLY aware of our shortcomings ,our flaws and of course - our mistakes. These 3 live together in the culmination of our past ,present and contribute to the shaping of our future . They , like a sunburn - reside just under the skin making them easily accessible and easily irritated .

Our flaws and shortcomings live in the front of the mind because we deal with them on a day to day basis. There is a constant battle between the acceptance of them , and the desire to correct or eliminate them . Never really knowing the victor of the day , we only have our past to use as a gauge to see if we are really “improving”…But our past is another battle altogether , and by making judgments about someone BECAUSE of their past -will keep them there in that moment and make the daily battle of progression a losing one..

Don’t judge for what they USED to do ,but rather make judgements about what they do NOW - after all , if our past is forgiven , what say do you have in it?.. However , being present for someone in the “now” is where the difference could be made in this battle…

Coming to terms with who we “used to be” , “who we are” and “who we want to be” is more than daily battle - It’s a war fought over the course of a lifetime.

It’s a war that rages on the very fringes of your mind body and soul ..and at times as it takes it toll - hopelessness sets in . During these times we find ourselves exposed and vulnerable ,like a turtle on its back. Reverting back to “who we used to be” becomes more and more attractive as the uncomfortable waters of “who we want to be” have become too tumultuous to continue on . Caught in a moment of weakness - we jump ship only to find the decision to be one of those times where a kind word of warning would have been warmly welcomed as opposed to the current predicament… An after battling the hostile waves of a mistake to make our way back into the boat , pointing out that we have a Sunburn is NOT a welcomed nor appreciated observation.. Again , Where were you when I needed you ?

1 Thessalonians 5:1 says ” There for encourage one another and strengthen one another ,just as you are doing.” - Is that too much to ask?

You never know what someone is going through - so pay attention. A cry for help isn’t always a scream from the edge of a boat. Sometimes , its a subtle look from screaming eyes begging you to ask “what can I do?”…and in an instant , you could help prevent the oversight of a desperate soul by simply offering a kind word of warning or encouragement …

If you are a friend , it IS your place … Offer some shade .. or at a minimum - some SunScreen.

The Invitation to Study the Bible is STILL open.. ;)

Read Psalm 86:7

The Simple Complexity of Good Intentions

The above title is an oxymoron If I have ever heard one - but an honest and true one it IS..

I want to believe with all of my strength that people always begin with the best intentions . Starting this way is simple because in good intentions there is truth and the truth is ALWAYS simpler than its counter part , DISHONESTY. Somewhere along the way they get sidetracked.. Once off course ,frustration and stress set in and bring a host of problems driven by the nemesis of Truth - and DISHONESTY begins to drive this already speeding locomotive …. A crash is inevitable and seems to be unavoidable as this speeding mess of complexity takes on a life of its own while you seem to be frozen, watching the whole thing unfurl right in front of you with your hands metaphorically are tied by helplessness…

Then it happens… and with what seems to be the velocity of a crashing jet plane , the whole things violently lands on you..

Caught up in what seems to be a hurricane , you find yourself helplessly thrown about until you finally it the ground , and then everything goes dangerously quiet…

Dread and fear of the consequences loom above as you contemplate whats next… and that’s where you live until you can finally be freed of the burden that this mess you brought on yourself . You FEEL guilty because you ARE guilty - and the only way out of this mess is going to be THROUGH it…

From beginning to end , this process takes its toll. Shame and guilt plague the soul and have a noticeable effect on you…all the while you are just looking for shelter.. for solace… for COMFORT. The funny thing about all 3 of those is that they cant be found anywhere else except YOURSELF through the TRUTH… So you FESS UP..

The worst part is yet to come.. Once you have told the truth , once you have been forgiven and supposedly cleared your conscious - You then continue to punish yourself….WHY?

Have you not revealed the truth? Have you not asked for and received forgiveness? Have you not cleaned the slate?… If yes - WHY then do you continue to live in the aftermath of a mistake?

Because guilt is a powerful thing.

We live in a cynical and jaded world that loves it when you lose..and nobody loves it more than the one who helped you bring this mess to life ,and keeping you guilty is one of the ways he keeps his power over you…They say the road to hell is paved with GOOD INTENTIONS… you better believe it - the Devil does and asks for you BY NAME..

SO - if you have been forgiven by those you have wronged and more importantly been forgiven by GOD - the who are you NOT to FORGIVE YOURSELF??

For every second you wear your guilt around your neck like a MEDAL , you spit in Gods face and the forgiveness he has offered you - and in doing so allow the medal to become a weight around your neck that pulls you down the very road you never INTENDED to go down…

Take your guilt off ,set and own and LEAVE IT..

GO TO GOD , GET OVER YOURSELF AND GET ON WITH IT… Yes , it is THAT simple..

Keep your life simple - by keeping your intentions good -

The invitation to study the Bible is still open ;)

Read Romans 5:8

Monster

I want to be positive.. I really do. I try each day to make it my focus.. There is already SO much negativity that surrounds us and begs for our cultivation…It begs to be validated and justified..I don’t want to feed it..but it calls for me… It calls me by name.

Negativity is a monster that preys on the light in us ..It preys on the good in us , and the purity in us..devouring all that we are CAPABLE of being and leaves us with what we are in danger of BECOMING - vacant and jaded soul-less shells of what used to be full of grace and beauty , and are now just full of spite and ugliness…

It and its hunger is INSATIABLE…and it calls me by name - DAILY.

But I resist… We all MUST resist.

There are a great many things that have recently occurred within our culture that have brought this monster out in FORCE.. Religion , Politics , Celebrity Tragedy etc.. All these are delivered right into our homes by a biased media with agendas on BOTH sides ,and we welcome the monster in with open arms…

TURN OFF YOUR T.V.

CNN doesn’t have the answers. Nor does Fox News , nor HLN or MCNBC. They feed us what they want us to eat and you choose which one based on your appetite..The truth is , Conservative and Liberal agenda’s have muddied the waters of RIGHT and WRONG. They have made it nearly IMPOSSIBLE to tell the difference by turning the clear water of TRUTH into stale gray waters of DOUBT, leaving it up to how you “feel” about something to decide if its right or if its wrong by casting aside the ONLY real standard of truth - God and HIS words.

If we keep feeding this Monster of negativity,the very freedom that makes this country great , will also be our undoing…

1 Peter 5:8 says “Be sober-minded; be WATCHFUL. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to DEVOUR… If you have ever seen a Lion hunt ,it doesn’t charge full speed ahead to attack -it creeps.. Quietly ,slowly and cautiously it methodically sneaks up on its prey until he has it perfectly positioned making escape impossible f.. Then it POUNCES with unbridled aggression and sheer ferocity, utterly and completely devouring it’s prey ..

The Lion is upon us people.. what are you prepared to do?

Should we listen to Men with corrupt agendas ? OR - do we listen to God? I say with all sincerity - Don’t listen to me either if you think I’m wrong!!! Read the bible for YOURSELF..Don’t take my word for it , take HIS.

Negativity is the enemy’s strongest tool because it doesn’t bring attack from the outside , it brings it from within.. Don’t give him another moment of your life ..He wants you and calls for you by name , as he does the rest of us..

Whom will YOU listen to? Whom will YOU obey? Whom will YOU serve…?

“As for me and my house , we will serve THE LORD”- Joshua 24:15

The invitation to study the bible is still open… ;)

Read Mathew 6:24 ,Acts 6:27-32 and Joshua 24:15

The Process of Letting Go..

I can vividly remember being 9 years old and gripping the rope I was holding on to with force that would rival a Python gripping his latest soon to be meal…Nervousness was all over me like a bad suit and he had brought his friends fear and fear with him (yes, I said fear twice-apparently there is strength in numbers) , but - I being the stubborn hard headed punk I have always been , was determined to beat this…

Then it came - that one moment where this whole journey had led me to…The moment when I was forced to choose… To LET GO…

Seconds later I was submerged in the cool flowing waters of the Flint River..I HAD DONE IT!.. I had swung from the rope swing attached to the tree growing from the high bank of the river.. I had beaten the seemingly unbeatable , little did I realize that the unbeatable wasn’t the rope swing that dauntingly hung high above the Flint River - It was FEAR.

Fear , a true “4 letter word” If I have ever heard it.. While healthy fear is often referred to as “respect” and is the only way to begin to learn about God (Proverbs 1:7) - this is too often the fear we don’t practice. We give ourselves over to fear of failure,rejection,pain and a laundry list of other hosts that feed on the energy we give it..And with THAT fear , we open the door to sin and welcome it into our lives like the sickness it is - But , like every illness there is treatment -and in this case not JUST a treatment but a CURE…

LETTING GO.

For many of us , our understanding of “Letting go” is associated with weakness and it is in fact - quite the contrary. True strength comes from doing what we KNOW is right NO MATTER the consequence - This is the birth of COURAGE and beginning of the Process of Letting Go.. So allow me give this encouragement :

GIVE IN - Give in to the will of GOD by submission of your own will to HIS… Submission isn’t a power struggle but rather a mutual relationship of love ,humility and respect.. Understand the PRINCIPLE of submission and you’ll understand the PRACTICE of submission. - (1 Peter 1:14)

GIVE UP - Not as in failure , but but in Prayer.. Give the things that plague you to God. Psalm 118:5 says “Out of my distress I called on the Lord;the Lord answered me and set me free” ..

MOVE FORWARD - Giving in to the Lord and Giving up your problems to him in prayer is absolutely the right and best way to BEGIN - but a beginning is ONLY a BEGINNING if you move on..You MUST commit to moving away from where you came in to the fold ,lest you fall out.. For this read 2 Corinthians 5:17

Things are just things..and like everything around us -things decay and disintegrate..The harder you try to HOLD ON , the more they slip from your hands and take you with them on the path to destruction…Imagine for a second that you are at Heavens edge and God Almighty is standing there waving you to “come in” - only every time you make your attempt , you are blocked by a figure that you cant quite identify. The harder you try , the more its gets in your way..All the while God keeps bidding you to “Come in”..

Finally , you overcome your fear of what this figure will think of you, or what it might do to you ,or what it might say to others about you and you shove it to the floor and RUN TO THE LORD where he is patiently waiting for you to respond to his invitation..Just before getting to him you turn to look one last time at your menacing opponent only to realize that the ENTIRE time , the one in between you and the LORD - was YOURSELF..

What will keep you from God and his rest for you?..Nothing except YOURSELF and your FEAR…. So Let it GO - Let go of the rope that this life will ultimately hang you with and fall headlong into the cool flowing waters of Christ… In him there is no fear ,only love.. No weakness,only strength.. No labor , only rest…

Linkin Park’s song “Iridescent” says it better than I’ve heard in quite a while..In the last line of the chorus that chant”Do you feel cold and lost in desperation? You build up hope, but failure’s all you’ve known..Remember all the sadness and frustration..

And let it go.

I for one , couldn’t agree more… The invitation to study the Bible is still open.. ;)

Revelation 21:4 -“ He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”